Congrats, you got to parent yourself!

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jason9045

Joke's on you, I'm not in therapy. I'm just white-knuckling my way through life.


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iownadakota

Substance abuse for me. I call it self medicating, but I know better.


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bebebotanica

We just raw doggin reality out here


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misdirected_asshole

Just life harder man. You'll be straight.


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TheSilverCrystal

I'm internalizing everything like usual


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[deleted]

If I just ignore it, it’ll go away, right?


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imajokerimasmoker

My man. 👉👉


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Risquechilli

My knuckles finally got a rest August last year when I started therapy. Highly recommend. All of my copays have been waived since the pandemic. It’s a great time to start.


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mygfismadaf

niggas not mature. we are thrust into situations at a very young age (traumatized) or told secrets because people think we need to know them (traumatized) and we exit these interactions like war veterans seeking more information on a better life, throwing ourselves at literatute and academia at the tender age of 12, when our genitals betray us.


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ScarletApex

I dont like that second point, it describes me too well


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AlphariousV

fuckin aye that last part made my stomach drop, feels like everyday I'm learning new issues with myself, I'll go ahead note that one fer later.


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SelfDestruction100

I used to be proud of myself for being the supportive child, the one my (divorced) mom would go cry to when she needed to vent about my dad. Yet I feel that I’m still too young to realize what effects this had/will have on my psyche. Just gotta wait and see I guess, or scrounge for money to go to therapy


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Idris007

Christ I feel seen


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JustMeAndMyKnickas

The last point. I can’t understate how accurate this is...and I didn’t even realize it.


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MissingChronnosomes

You ain't have to hit me with the bonus man


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matcha_is_gross

holy shit if this isn’t me, struggling real hard right now with not “achieving” anything - no wonder


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raptorclvb

For a while I didn’t know if depression made me the way I was and then I moved to another state away from my family and realized that it wasn’t my depression but then. Whew. Still healing from a lot of the trauma but I’m getting there


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princeedward9

So how do I become better? My personality changes depending on who I'm around. I don't even know myself. I can't afford therapy


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DimeTime07

Hey, I'm down for bonus points


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Izz3h

Fuck man we really all are the same.


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Sharpinthefang

Both my partner and I call the adapting personalities our ‘social chameleon camouflage’


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Belaize

Ayo more points for me let's goo #1 Goated


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BToney005

At least I don't feel alone. I'm finally figuring this out and I have no idea what to do now.


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macaleaven

“bonus points if you created a personality that adapts to everyone around you while* simultaneously sheilding yourself and true self”


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theloneabalone

Oh. Oh dear.


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QuirkyQuel

Shout out to hippy parents with "you're an old soul"


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kimpossible69

I think that's more in regard to teenagers taking an interest in canning and pickling than it is trauma lol


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Rfwill13

smh I'm an "old soul" cause I was an only child and ended up spending a lot of time with my mom. So I picked up some of her tastes and world knowledge.


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cowtow

I got that hella because I was a chill little kid who liked talking to adults and reading books. I don't even read anymore lmao


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cheshirecanuck

Mature for your age, a pleasure to have in the class, gifted... I've heard it all baby. Shoutout to my financially and emotionally unstable home life for giving me too much on my plate to even consider being a troublemaker. My parents caused enough chaos for all of us.


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Commodore-kickyfeet

Getting help is a big step forward and I'm proud of you.


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moramos93

I had an extremely similar upbringing. My mom got sick when I was 15 and I went from “mature child” to straight up struggling adult overnight. I feel like I’m managing just fine because I’m relatively successful and not into super destructive behaviors.....until I eat an entire bag of chips and other junk because Mother’s Day is coming up and I can’t deal with being sad or else the sad doesn’t go away. Meh.


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ilovemackandcheese

I read this comment and was like “wow someone has been living my life, wild”. I’m sorry you had to go through that


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quagzlor

I feel that first half so hard. I should not be the one who has to resolve the family problems.


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KowboyJoe3

Parents currently going through divorce. You and I sound so alike it’s almost scary. Going into my 20s and I need to look after my mom’s mental health. Good luck to you and your recovery


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Kaiden92

Oh this hit closer to home than I’d like.


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Lucavious

Hit me almost as hard as my dad!


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KhaiPanda

Literally had this conversation in therapy today. Ouchie.


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misdirected_asshole

But there is a difference between emotional maturity and being required to be self sufficient or parent your siblings when you're 9. The first is fine, and isn't abnormal. Some kids are just more mature without the trauma.


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cheebeesubmarine

I was a latchkey kid at five and a master at doing homework by streetlight in the backseat of the car while my stepdad got plowed at the bar. My mom worked two jobs and got her ass cut by dear old dad if she missed a shift.


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toolsoftheincomptnt

I think OP’s point is that being called “mature for your age” isn’t actually that.


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literallylateral

I don’t think they’re talking about kids who are actually just emotionally mature. Personally I remember being complimented on things that read as emotional maturity to outsiders but that I had developed from trauma instead of in a healthy way. I didn’t have any understanding of the social rules at play, I just knew some of the behaviors that might get me yelled at, and some things that seemed to prevent yelling. There was no maturity to it because it didn’t come from any sort of growth or understanding, it was all a child’s attempts to get an abnormal person to treat me normally. But when a teacher sees a kid, for example, who doesn’t complain about anything, they’re unlikely to think “She’s like this because she thinks she’ll get in trouble if she says she doesn’t like something”.


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mdrnsavg

I guess the toughest part of this for me is getting others to understand the fact that if they see a flaw in me, it could of been much worse! I’m a fully functional member of society, have served my country, raised four great children, married for 20+ years and cultivated a fantastic career! Cut me some slack when I’m antisocial or periodically lose my shit over an “insignificant “ thing!


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AllPartiesPresent

I see you. I appreciate how hard you've worked over the years. I'm cheering you on. Each. Day.


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thatEMSguy

Therapy? In this economy?


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leosmoke420

just start a podcast


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Fake_Watch_Salesman

They told me I had an old soul growing up. Now I have a crippling depression


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ladyevenstar-22

You remember trauma from a previous life .


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molotovzav

My parents were great and I got called that. I just hated stupid kid groupthink bullshit like "let's all kick the Chuck E. Cheese guy in a suit" or "let's all vandalize this house together", the minute you don't want to do stupid shit with bad kids they pull that shit out. Those kids are losers now and I have a J.D. so. . . avoiding group think is a positive.


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sudo_grep

We got to parent ourselves and our siblings and occasionally even our effin mother 🤦🏽‍♀️ i’m tired


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4ThaLolz

The amount of people in this thread finding other people living their same lives is insane and slightly comforting. I feel you on this internet stranger. You are not alone. Im tired too, but we got this.


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TardyBacardi

But HOW did you know?????


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Karukash

Anyone else with divorced parents with a distant mother and a father who projected his insecurities back at you. Anyone?!


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-This-Whomps-

Me, is that you?


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HeroOfThings

Depression ages your brain faster.


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KoldGlaze

Damn Reddit, why you gotta call me out like this. One year in therapy and still so much left to unpack.


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iwrkhrd

“Wheeeew” is what my psychiatrist said after asking me what brings me here TODAY.


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Emebust

Damn, people have told me my kids are mature for their age...


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giggleboxx3000

forgotten middle child/black sheep of the family gang 👈😎👈


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Soulkyoko

The counsel of Me has decided that we'll bottle everything up and let future me open it after retirement.


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Bunnnnii

I’ve been recommended therapy, but it always kinda weirds me out honestly. Not in a rude way, but how does that come up from so many different people? I don’t think I show signs of distress or needing therapy. I don’t even talk about myself much or my background when around these people that make the recommendations.


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ImNotTheNSAIPromise

It could be that people are just concerned for you always being there for others and are worried you are putting others before yourself.


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mommybot9000

Therapy is worth your time. You are with your time. It’s not always about talking about what’s gone wrong. Sometimes it helps to have someone acknowledge what you’re doing right who keeps track of how you reach your goals and congratulates you on the wins who isn’t family. And a lot of organizations offer it low cost or for free.


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kelsobjammin

Or “very independent”


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mammaube

This hits hard. Been in therapy now for almost three years and on antidepressants for two years. Started taking CBD oil now too. I'm still struggling with my mental health while being back in my traumatic house. It's so lovely being in a house full of shouting and screaming and a stepdad who is verbally abusive, abuses the dog, and has anger issues. He broke down his son's door out of anger once and now he has no door. Then having grown up in a very manipulative house by my mom and dad who despise each other. Then having your mom date horrible men who abused her emotionally then having to help your own lil sis cuz your mom doesn't want to hire a babysitter or be a mother. Yeah trauma I'm still trying to get through.


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DMking

I have so much internalized hatred it's kinda shocking. I only talk about how i feel when i am beyond angry.


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lizardmom0218

I didn’t parent myself. I was dealing with sexual abuse and was scared to tell on a grownup because I told his wife and she said I was lying. My mama was the BEST mama


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cygnus2

Or maybe you’re just a mature individual. Things can, in fact, be that simple.


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Tknerd123

I totally relate. Growing up i saw it as compliment, the responsible kid adult!!! And then I actually grew up. Imagine a 30+ person trying to recapture the missed teenage years Lol. Shit hit the fan then therapy and couselling. I am good now. Still working on building bridges with my parents. They think it was good for because I was emotionally stronger than my siblings and I wouldn't be where I am now but for. Ohhhh you mean in therapy 🤔🤔🤔.


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curlyfreak

My dad literally was like impressed or surprised how organized and prepared I was with just my tool kit. He was like, wow you even have a pencil in there?!


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NUDESFORSALE21

Jokes on you, I've always been in therapy


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tehtris

I got this because my parents didn't talk to me in "baby talk" and I was able to have an actual conversation at a really young age. The maturity has plateaued tho. I'm at work right now debugging code for the next 30 minutes looking forward to walking 20 feet to my left to sit on my couch and play Minecraft.


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FistPunch_Vol_4

Lmfao, like I can afford that.


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Servious

People like this think kids are mature for their age because they are immature for their age.


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Taeyx

aye you too loud


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PalyoLostesso

Mature enough to get therapy. A lot of people need it but mostly the ones realizing that they need it are the mature ones.


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[deleted]

damn


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JintheRuler

Dam this hits a little too close to home


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TrRa47

Idk. I feel that's the case for A LOT of people who got that compliment, but not most, if that makes sense.


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IronPro5

Well...


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Chemical_Race_9179

This shit hit TOO accurately


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Jayswisherbeats

Holy fuck..


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MagikSkyDaddy

Whew. Only because of the therapy can I recognize myself in this.


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genrlokoye

Damn. This one hit me where it hurts.


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Simmering_Chicken

Hmmm shit


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In_my_worst_timeline

I wish... Can't afford therapy tho.


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okandi

And that's if you're lucky smh


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trevoraven

oh shit that’s me


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Godofthisuniverse

Yo this post was really good


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SouthTxChubbyT

I did NOT need this dose of reality rn! 😧


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MissAustralianBi

what's therapy


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foot7221

No bubble life for me. Straight reality for my teenage years. Divorced parents. Chose to stay with my dad and I’d say was the best decision I’ve made in my life. Not the same for others but for me it was.


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Moneyworks22

This is such a massive assumption lmao Some of this "woke" shit really just be people saying shit they think sounds good.


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Naked-In-Cornfield

Nah man this one rings true for a lot of us.


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DevilfishShoehorn

If you're functional enough to afford therapy, then you're not as traumatized as you think.


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Drakulia5

That's the worst take I've seen today.


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productiveboobs

Sir. Having insurance isn’t (read: shouldn’t be) a luxury.


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Formal-Champion-7623

GetCerebral is pretty cheap, and I don’t even have insurance right now - they’re also shipping my meds as long as I meet with my therapist and care counselor - however I’m still not unpacking my family shit with them so, take that as you will


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buttsmacks_anonymous

Yeah pretty much. Nobody who has money has ever been traumatized.


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TardyBacardi

This is literally the dumbest thing I’ve read on the internet today.